Thursday, July 23, 2009

Not good enough.

Never felt more inadequate than I do tonight...

It could be because of all the transition in my life and it could be because I am too passionate about...well, everything. Most likely it's because I've gotten my eyes off of who God is making me. I look at the people God has placed around me and spend too much time wishing I could improve myself to be good at the things they are good at. This whole problem is exacerbated by the fact that I have lost a huge part of the identity that made me special in my own mind.

God, I am going to bed tonight, asking for your grace so I can see me like you want me to be.

The power in pain

Today I am singing in the funeral of a young man, killed in an accident in Gettysburg on Saturday afternoon. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that the family is feeling, but I do wonder how I would handle that degree of grief in my life. This week I am teaching the concept of the threshing floor and how faith changes the way we react to everyday troubles and big pain. I believe that God is showing me through this circumstance that faith in Christ is the thing that turns pain into power for life.

Pain without faith kills, but pain + faith = power. I have decided ahead of time that I want to kill the "victim voice" in me so that when pain comes, large or small, I will be able to come through on the other end with more ability to rebound and overcome the big pains in my life. God forbid that I ever have to face pain of this magnitude, but if I do I am thankful that my faith in Christ will make me more than a conqueror.